Thursday, September 25, 2008

243

Hidden DoorsThe only thing visible in the night was two suspicious eyes and a wooden door. These little eyes were sand pebble small like the stars are in the night sky. They belonged to a baby dwarf maybe, small enough to fit in the palm of ones hand. Every night its eyes would peer out just above the top of the hidden door in the ground like it was looking for someone or something. I decided one morning when the air was still cool even though it would soon be seventy degrees out to open that door. I causally strolled on my lawn with my head down almost as if I was too weak to lift it up. I would search the ground but never find it. Only trip on the hill of grass where it was supposed to be. So tonight I will go out at night when those little eyes are peering out of the hole. I clothes pinned my eyes open so when the clock strokes twelve I see the eyes come out again. I saw it and went around back hoping the creature would not see me. Then I jumped, strangled the creature by the neck and realized it was larger then a dwarf and its eyes were bigger than a pebble. I realized it was just my imagination, fooled me. I guess I just have been thinking too much since Grandpa passed away. Every time I walk outside I glimpse left and right for something out of the ordinary because that is how Papa died. His heart just stopped on him, yet nobody knows what his blind eyes finally let him see. But I know what Papa saw… he saw himself becoming frail and his body dying and so it did.

12 comments:

danielle said...

i feel this peice kinda of sad. But the way he/she put everything together, it was a really good short story

kirsten said...

I liked this piece, it was very good. I enjoyed reading it and it was a nice short story, despite the sad message.

Jackie said...

I thought that this was really good but really sad. I liked the way that he/she pieced it together, but i thought it was really sad.


jackie c

master-of-toast said...

wow that's really epic win. the endiing is so sad... good job :D

Shannon O'Connor said...

This short story was very sad, but it was well written. I liked the way that the writer had the story be suspicious.

RobynSuchy said...

I liked this a lot. It was very thought provoking and very well written.

steph said...

i thought this was really deep. it was really good but i felt sad after reading it. it definitely left the reader thinking.

cmcgoo said...

I started off thinkin this was a fantasy but at the end it was reality. i liked it alot, great piece whoever wrote this.

parveen said...

I like the way it has a twist ending, i thought it was going to be a fantasy type of story and it wasn't.

daniellemenglish said...

I liked this short story a lot because you weren't expecting the story to end. Despite the sadness, it was well written

lindsay said...

I liked this story a lot, although it provoked a very sad message. I liked the way the author kept you waiting.

dan said...

it's a good story, i liked reading it.

Important Due Dates